The Spiegel Eye-Roll

Use this chart to hypnotize your friends. Actually it won’t help with that at all. But it will help with figuring out which of your friends can be easily hypnotized should you wish to bring the fuckers once and for all under your total beneficent control. Head Trip chapter 5 – The Trance. Here’s the script you should use, straight from Spiegel and Spiegel, father and son hypnosis team, authors of the American Psychiatric Association’s Trance and Treatment.

“Now look toward me. As you hold your head in that position, look up toward your eyebrows”now, toward the top of your head. As you continue to look upward, close your eyes slowly. That’s right . . . close. Close. Close. Close.”

The key is keeping the eyes looking up as the lids go down. The amount of sclera (white) that shows ” as weird and unlikely as this sounds –is a good indicator of innate hypnotic capacity. If your friend’s eyes go all white and zombie then they are very likely a good candidate for hypnosis and you should try and have sex with them immediately. If their eyes don’t budge they’re probably a boring skeptic with a rigid uncompromising worldview which makes me wonder why they are indulging your nerdy hypnosis fetish in the first place. Maybe they see some way of making money. I make these spurious conclusions, by the way, because, according to the inimitable Spiegel and Spiegel, it also so happens that a person’s innate hypnotic capacity is a decent indicator of their personality type. To generalize most grotesquely, people who are easily hypnotized are flaky artist actor types, “Dionysians” in the Spiegel scheme. On the other extreme you get the stiffs – “Apollonians” – the robot mechanists (see this article for more ponderation of this categorification). In between – where most people fall, including me -are the agonized “Odysseans”, fluctuating between tendencies, trapped between action and despair. None of this will make a lick of sense of you don’t check my book but what the hell I’m ranting here for free. Now go check your eyeballs and join your category.

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